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Tuesday January 24, 2006
To sense and know but not FEEL.
DUDE: shit..you must feel like shit
DUDE: i am so so sorry
DUDE: if i am there with you, i would hug you
ME: i want to cry, but only 2 drops managed to stroll down my cheeks
DUDE: i will cry with you
ME: and for now, i am completely frozen
ME: no tears, no feelings, only disgust
ME: my theory was right
ME: everyone is a fuckin’ animal
ME: good, now i am very provoked to write this thesis
DUDE: nothing is what it seems anymore
DUDE: u okay?
ME: yep
ME: to see but not think
ME: to know and sense but not feel
ME: it's a great skill to acquire
ME: it's the greatest provocation for me to write
ME: a lot
DUDE: r u angry like right now?
ME: not sure, being angry is just oh too dramatic
ME: carnally, i am programmed to feel that way
DUDE: don’t bottle it up, it’s okay to be angry
DUDE: you have a right to
ME: no
ME: rights.. just an illusion for the comfort of our own "hearts" and "minds"
DUDE: a necessary illusion at this time, you must comfort yourself
ME: no, nothing is necessary
ME: all it causes is extra drama
DUDE: so be it
ME: i am allowing my sense of nothingness to do so
ME: to have memories haunt you, “it’s a sticky waste” (to quote lionel)
Posted by snowism at January 24, 2006 12:53 AM